Paranoid (PPD)
A parent or sibling who sees betrayal everywhere and cuts people off over small slights.
- ✓ Stay calm and factual; don't argue over their suspicions
- ✓ Be consistent and predictable
- ✓ Avoid sharing private info they may use against you
When you can't just walk away
Family & Loved Ones
You can't choose your family, but you can choose how you respond. You can't fix them — you can protect yourself and encourage help.
Boundaries, not battles
Decide what you will do, not what they must do. "If you yell, I'll leave the room."
Consistency
A boundary that's enforced sometimes teaches them to push harder.
Protect yourself first
Safety, money, and your mental health come before keeping the peace.
Get support
Therapy, support groups, and family programs help you stop carrying it alone.
Schizoid (SPD)
A relative who skips gatherings and seems unmoved by family events.
- ✓ Respect their need for space
- ✓ Keep low-pressure contact
- ✓ Don't take detachment personally
Schizotypal (STPD)
An eccentric relative with unusual beliefs who struggles to connect.
- ✓ Be kind but grounded in reality
- ✓ Encourage professional support
- ✓ Don't debate every belief
Antisocial (ASPD)
A family member who steals, lies, and manipulates relatives repeatedly.
- ✓ Protect money, documents, and property
- ✓ Set firm consequences and keep them
- ✓ Don't accept apologies without changed behavior
- ✓ Prioritize safety; involve authorities when needed
Borderline (BPD)
A parent or sibling whose moods set the emotional weather of the whole house.
- ✓ Validate feelings without accepting abuse
- ✓ Use calm, consistent boundaries
- ✓ Encourage DBT therapy — it works well
- ✓ Know crisis numbers
Histrionic (HPD)
A relative who turns every gathering into their stage.
- ✓ Don't reward drama with attention
- ✓ Praise calm, genuine moments
- ✓ Keep plans structured
Narcissistic (NPD)
A parent who needs children to reflect well on them and punishes independence.
- ✓ Grey-rock: be calm and uninteresting during conflicts
- ✓ Don't seek their approval as proof of your worth
- ✓ Limit info you share
- ✓ Therapy for yourself helps undo old patterns
Avoidant (AvPD)
A family member who withdraws and feels 'not good enough.'
- ✓ Offer gentle, low-stakes invitations
- ✓ Give feedback kindly and privately
- ✓ Celebrate small steps
Dependent (DPD)
An adult relative who can't function without someone deciding for them.
- ✓ Support, don't rescue
- ✓ Encourage small independent decisions
- ✓ Hold boundaries kindly
Obsessive-Compulsive (OCPD)
A parent with strict rules, rigid routines, and little warmth.
- ✓ Pick your battles
- ✓ Agree on shared rules in advance
- ✓ Don't let criticism define you
Support for families
Programs, groups, and help lines for people who love someone with a personality disorder.
Free family course
NAMI Family-to-Family
8-session class for family members of people with mental health conditions.
Borderline (BPD)
NEA-BPD Family Connections
Free 12-week program teaching families skills to cope and connect.
Help line
NAMI HelpLine
Call 1-800-950-6264 for information, referrals, and family support.
Treatment referrals
SAMHSA National Helpline
Free, confidential 24/7 referrals: 1-800-662-4357.
Find a therapist
Psychology Today Directory
Search for family therapists and specialists in personality disorders near you.
Abuse & control
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Support for family abuse, not just partners: 1-800-799-7233.
Crisis
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 — also guides family members helping someone in crisis.
Children of difficult parents
Out of the FOG
Plain-language guides and support for people with a family member who has a personality disorder.
In danger? Call 911. Self-harm or suicide threats: call or text 988.