Slow down. Patterns reveal themselves in 3–6 months: how they handle "no," criticism, stress, and people who can't do anything for them.
Pattern: Charm → exploitation → discard. Rules apply to everyone but them.
Protect yourself: Verify their story. Never mix finances early. Any violence or threats: leave and get help.
Pattern: Idealize → devalue → fear of abandonment → reconcile. Repeat.
Protect yourself: Slow the pace. Keep your own friends. Self-harm threats need professional help — call 988 — not your sacrifice.
Pattern: Exciting at first, exhausting over time.
Protect yourself: Notice whether you're a partner or an audience.
Pattern: Love-bomb → devalue → discard → 'hoover' back.
Protect yourself: Watch how they treat people who can't help them. Trust patterns over promises. Consider no-contact after leaving.
Pattern: Jealousy and accusation that no amount of reassurance can fix.
Protect yourself: You cannot prove your innocence enough. If trust never builds after months, step back.
Pattern: Not cruel, but distant — you may feel lonely inside the relationship.
Protect yourself: Don't expect to 'warm them up.' Decide if limited closeness meets your needs.
Pattern: Confusing communication and growing isolation as a couple.
Protect yourself: Watch whether their beliefs start dictating your life choices.
Pattern: Wants closeness but pulls away — not out of malice, out of fear.
Protect yourself: Patience helps, but they must work on it themselves, ideally with therapy.
Pattern: You become caretaker; resentment builds on both sides.
Protect yourself: Encourage independence rather than doing everything for them.
Pattern: Control and criticism dressed up as 'high standards.'
Protect yourself: Notice whether you feel constantly corrected. Your way is allowed to exist.