Only you can decide when to leave. But some signs strongly suggest a relationship is harming you more than it's helping.
If you're ever afraid for your safety, that comes first. You don't need to be sure about anything else.
Signs it may be time to leave
- You feel afraid of your partner or of how they'll react.
- There has been physical violence, threats, or forced sexual contact.
- You're cut off from friends, family, money, or your phone.
- The same hurtful pattern keeps repeating despite apologies.
- They refuse to take any responsibility or get help.
- You've lost your sense of who you are.
- Your children are being hurt or are witnessing harm.
Questions to ask yourself
- If nothing changed, could I live with this for five more years?
- Do I feel more like myself, or less, than before this relationship?
- Have I seen real, lasting change — or only promises?
Leaving safely
Leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. If you're worried about your safety, talk to a domestic violence advocate before you go. They can help you make a safety plan — confidentially and for free.
- Keep important documents, money, and a phone somewhere safe.
- Tell a trusted person about your plan.
- Save hotline numbers somewhere your partner can't see.
You don't need permission or a perfect reason to leave a relationship that hurts you.
Call 911 for emergencies. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788). Mental health crisis: call or text 988.
Educational information only, not a diagnosis. Only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose a personality disorder.